About Paul Clough and letting go of grief.

So who is Paul, below is a brief description of my achievements. Maybe the most important thing about me (Paul) is how, when working with my clients we just seem to get their results and leave feeling so much better than thy have before. You may notice I said ‘we get’ and it is a collaborative process, we work together compassionately and with a little fun (yes you can have a little fun because your world is about to change for the better!)

Before becoming a personal coach and trainer Paul has held directorships in businesses since he was 29 and has a vast amount of experience of how life really is in the business world. Paul is a Certified Trainer and Consultant of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a Certified Master Practitioner of Time Line Therapy and a Certified Master Hypnotist and Hypnotherapist. It was through learning NLP and Hypnosis for his business life that Paul discovered his passion for helping people regain back their lives from depression, low self esteem and grief.

Paul strives to live his life’s ultimate vision to be the best coach / mentor/catalyst/ inspirer / guide / awakener he can be, constantly seeking new skills and developing new ways to improve both himself and everyone he works with.

When he is not in his quiet place or on the water. Paul works out of Cambridge being the joint founder with his youngest son, Joseph, of Cambridge Hypnotherapy which now also includes his middle son Luke who now has the major role. He also supports Joseph in NLP trainings in the UK and Israel.

How Grief Can Affect Us Without Even Knowing.

Grief, one of the most debilitating negative emotions, can underpin so many things in our life and sometimes we don’t know it or don’t want to know it. We carry so many beliefs of having to suffer and being wrong to let go of grief too soon.

How long should we grieve? My answer to that is how long would the person or situation want us to grieve? If it’s a loved one then probably not at all ~ why would they want you to suffer ~ They LOVE YOU!!

Also when we grieve we rarely remember things in the positive and all the happy times we were fortunate to share.

And way back to the title ~

I’d like to tell of a client I saw a little while ago, which at the initial consultation the main issue was anxiety around driving (which is so so easy to change by the way).

This changed however, when we began the therapy session ~

Was anxiety around driving the cause of this clients issue? They (my client) thought it was when they came, why shouldn’t they? As this was one of the emotions they were feeling. We soon discovered this was simply an effect of the real issue. And this is the thing the core issue is so often masked by not one but usually a number of effects. This is where so many therapists can take a long time in helping their clients get resolution quickly, they try to deal with each and every effect and not the ‘root’ cause, the one thing that holds the issue and the one thing when that when resolved allows the problem to disappear completely.

So when it came to light was that my client was still suffering from grief together with an un-supporting belief to boot I knew we were meant to be together and finally let this go once and for all.

When this root cause came to light did I panic because I had only prepared for a driving session? Absolutely not because I hadn’t prepared in that way. 

We here at Cambridge Hypnotherapy and Bournemouth Hypnotherapy Clinic (my two clinics) never assume any issue is the real issue until we are sure, because as a general rule it isn’t.

That’s why so many others (therapists) fail to help their clients quickly and comfortably which I think is a disservice to our clients. All of us here (Luke, Joseph, Chris and myself) are committed to brief therapy (the fewest amount of sessions) and complete and lasting change.

Anyway back to my client. Once we, well the client really discovered the real cause of their anxiety they understood and knew now that this (unresolved grief of 5 years) was the real problem that needed being dealt with.

We did deal with it quickly and with no tears. Well no tears until we had finished but they were tears of joy because they now had a set of wonderful memories and a loving connection with that person they had been grieving for, grieving for far too long and now they felt like a whole weight had been lifted from their shoulders. That really does make this job a brilliant one.

One session, that’s all it took to get that kind of freedom.

How long or how much time have you let grief hold you back? How long have you not remembered your loved ones with a wonderful fondness full of love not emptiness?